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Yes, it's about time!

Yeah, I've been back from CA for nearly two weeks, now, and am just getting around to this. Life is strange at 80. I'd tell you to avoid it if possible, but you'd never remember my advice :)

No, seriously, things aren't really all that bad. I'm amazed at how much mid-day vitality I've still got, how much walking I can still do, how vital life still seems for me. It's only the way it all fades by evening that has me less than thrilled. And, to be sure, how many of my old cohort have vanished on me. Don't believe what they say about lifespans of 80 and 90 becoming common . . . there aren't that many who actually make it.

I did see a few of them, on my trip south. My old high-school buddy, Frank, can hardly get around, for his sciatica problems. He spent 20 years as an Air Force navigator, and the rest of his life as a Deputy Sheriff, but I wonder if he is going to last another five. My advantage is that I haven't owned a vehicle for the past 35 years, which has been salutary for my health (not to mention my pocketbook, and my peace of mind).

I returned to find that some of my LJ friends have deleted, which is harder to take than my lost youth. And I reflect again on the strangeness of this so-called 'friendship' business, here on LJ. And the anonymity that seems to be quite alright with everyone. I admit, there is no reason for me to expect real friendship on such a thin basis . . . but why call them friends then? It needs another name, like 'contacts', or 'tryouts'. Or maybe they are friends in today's world . . . maybe I just don't understand how tentative such things have become. I'm pleased to tell you that in my world, I've got some thirty or forty friends who would happily put me up for a night or two if I should arrive on their doorstep. Even unannounced.

Now that is what I would call a friend. And it spoils me. I want to be in real communication with the people whose lives I follow, here on LJ (and I do try and follow everyone's, even if my own LJ input has been nothing to brag about). I try to absorb 'who you are' so when I do offer a comment or two, I feel like it could be coming from someone who knows you and thinks about what you're saying. I admit, it doesn't jell for everyone on my list (which should explain why I don't comment to everyone), but know that I think about you when I read your input, and I have some opinions about you (if you're ever curious enough to ask).

I wonder if anyone knows what happened to Bridget McClellan, one of the deleted whom I really do miss. (You see? I wouldn't even ask that, about a contact or a tryout. And why should I bother, if I already have so many friends? Only because real friends kind of rely on each other being there. It's part of what makes life worthwhile . . . Yes, even up to the age of 80).

I did want to say something about the way this year is opening. I'm picking up on a lot of tension out there, with odd kinds of hangups in the way things are happening. It's like a huge energy-buildup is underway, and somewhat worrisome for what the summer might be like. Normally, summertime has all the year's intensity; but normally, the rise of it is gentle this early along the way . . . doesn't start to really register until late in June or beyond. So my advice is to be especially observant of things and generally looking out for your own well-being. You might have to lay back a bit, before summer is done with. Get into some early morning meditation.

Comments

(Deleted comment)
oldefool
May. 4th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Hey, Tarin!

It's up there now. I actually had it ready on April 29th, but David had changed the server name, and at least one of the parameters besides, without ever letting me know . . . and then when I tried to reach him he vanished to Chicago, where his email connection stopped working until this morning. This is a beautiful example of what I meant by "odd kinds of hangups in the way things are happening."

And as to my screed on friends, I'm sure you noted that you were the only one who gave me any return comment! I wonder if it's my recent emphasis on becoming 80 . . . Maybe I've pushed my friendship-value too far? Or if it's just more of the same "odd kinds of hangups."

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